This morning, as I was driving to pick up a friend, this was the view through my windshield. I was driving in bright beautiful sunlight, and just ahead of me was thick dense fog. The kind that you can’t see through almost. The suffocating kind.
While it was beautiful being on the side of sunlight, the fog was right there, and had I gone a mile down the road, I would have been in it. In doom and gloom struggling for just a glimpse of day light. I’ve been on both sides, and this was just such a vivid visualization of being on that edge.
Here’s the cool part… I have been on that edge in my own life for the past few weeks. I’ve been holding something in and slowly letting it eat away at me. And last night, as I was brushing my teeth, it all just came spilling out. And I felt myself losing control, and I just prayed. Just that Jesus would help me see things with his eyes.
I am so blessed, because I was able to crawl in bed next to Tom and just talk and share and tell him how I was feeling. I apologized for being short with him lately for something that had nothing to do with him and that he had no control over. And you know what, he didnt’ judge, and he didn’t say the right thing, and he couldn’t make anything better for me. But he could say, roll over and just let me hold you for a bit. And really, that was all I needed.
You see, I was heading into the fog. On the outside I could smile and do the right things, but inside something completely different was happening. I could feel it, I could see it, but I couldn’t turn left or right. But then sweet Jesus did a work in my heart and I knew it was ok to let it out. Today, nothing about the situation that was upsetting me is any different, but I was in the sunlight instead of the fog. The situation is still the same, and will lead me into a hard weekend, but… I’m ok. I really am. I see things differently today.
How about you? Are you in the sunlight or in the fog? Or, are you like I have been, and are you on the edge? I’d love to pray with you and for you. I’d love to welcome you to the side of sunshine….