I recently updated my mom’s Caring Bridge site @ http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/bevhanno/journal

I have been doing a verse a day, corresponding with the number of days of treatment remaining during her cancer treatments. Today marked the end of her treatments. As we collectively breathe a sigh of relief, I’m still stuck on the verse that I posted last night. You see, I finished the daily posting with where God’s truth starts… Genesis 1:1

The Beginning
1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 2 Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

As I reflect on Mom and her journey, this seems so relevant. However, it is more than just for the sick person, but for each of us…. In the beginning. Let that sink in for just a bit. Way before my Mom was diagnosed, way before I was called into speaking and writing, way before I can even imagine… In the beginning God created. He created heaven and earth. Yet, even as He created His Spirit was hovering. Wow… the same Spirit that lives in me today, was hovering before the creation of Earth… In the beginning.

I write this coming from a place of surrender and at the same time anxiousness. I’ve had to surrender my Mom’s health to our great physician. And I’m just home from an amazing conference that can cause me to get my mind WAY ahead of where it should be and begin to question if He really knows what he is doing with me.

And then, I pause at “In the beginning.” The same God that created this amazing place we live, and so much beyond even Earth, and yet I question if he knows what he is doing. I’m struck with the amount of pride that is wrapped in what I intended to be humble. HA…. Does he know what he is doing wtih me. Um, (gulp) well of course he does. If he knew in the beginning and all that it would entail, he certainly knows what he is doing in my life.

So, I’m left with this as a challenge. That spirit that was hovering over the waters in the beginning. How am I going to let that Spirit work in my life. Will I ask and wait, and fast and pray, and let the Spirit be my guide? Or will the same pride that makes me question if he knows what he is doing in my life get in the way and shut me down. God knows what he is up to. Period. The bigger question is whether I can be still long enough to let Him work.

In the beginning, he created the Heavens and the Earth. If HE wants to use me to speak, or to write, or to just love on others, HE WILL… As one of the weekend speakers said, If God has called you to speak, or write, then he will “call” you. My being anxious will accomplish little. However, trusting in his perfect plan and timing and following when the Spirit that lives in me guides, that will lead me to where he designed and chose a path for me… In the beginning.