It’s #mamamonday.  I know this post is late, but it’s been a day…  Normally on Monday, I like to write about something cute my kids did over the weekend – thus the term MamaMonday.  Today though, I’m writing about my mama.

For some history on her, read this post http://jensandbulte.com/a-year-ago/

Over the course of the past week, I have noticed some changes in mom.  So, this weekend I had to have a really hard conversation with her.  I think about all of the conflict situations I have lead in, and realize I may have been more nervous about this conversation.  However, whether in business or in family, when you care about someone, sometimes you say the hard things.

And through tears, we decided we can’t look back… just forward.  And today again, sitting at the doctors office, we decided that we can’t look back, just forward.

I won’t get into details tonight, as we have much to figure out as a family yet.  However, for now, we’re looking forward to more tests.  And with more tests, comes the temptation to look back at where we’ve been.  But you see, Jesus just wants our eyes on him.  And so for tonight, we’re looking forward.  And in looking forward, we’re trusting that he will lead us each step of the way.

I’m reminded of the story in Genesis 19 when Lot was fleeing from Sodom… And I hear the Lord telling me…  “don’t look back and don’t stop anywhere in the Plains.”

A bit later in vs. 26 we read this…

“But Lot’s wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.”

So, I’m choosing to not look back.  Not at how my mom was “before.”  Not at what we walked through a year and a half ago, not at any of that.  Instead, I’m focusing my eyes on Jesus and looking forward to the author and perfecter of our lives.  I’m trusting him and I’m not stopping in the Plains.

And, just in case I didn’t get it… just in case I wasn’t listening, well, he has a way of smashing into you and getting your attention.

I had just left mom and dad and filled my tank with gas.  As I signaled to turn right, smash bam, out of nowhere I was sideswiped by a semi.  Apparently I was in his blind spot.  To say I never saw it coming, well that would be an understatement.  I was looking to the right to begin to make my turn when I was crashed into.

The good news is, I was o.k,, as was the semi driver.  My little Jetta, well, she didn’t do to bad either.  A couple scrapes on the side, and, well, as you can see – I lost the mirror.  It’s official, I can’t look back!

carmirror

 

 

While I certainly don’t think that God made the accident happen, as always I can see him using bad things for his glory.  Today, he needed me to get Don’t Look Back.  So, instead of diverting me for a matter of seconds, he allowed this to happen so that I would get his point.  As I was duck taping my mirror on so I could drive the 25 miles home without it clanging against my car, I caught myself wondering how I could drive that far without having a mirror to look into.

As I pulled into the driveway, I heard these whispers – You made it just fine without that mirror –  “But Lot’s wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.”

In the days and weeks ahead, I know my Earthly temptation will be to look back.  But, Jesus wants my eyes on him.  He doesn’t want me so stuck on looking back that I miss what is right in front of me or that I take my eyes off of him.  Don’t look back I hear him whisper…

Don’t look back friends… keep your eyes on Jesus!